Camels

 

So,  I am pissed now...Why?  Well, the fine dining facility was supposed to, according to the weekly menu, serve gyros (pronounced: Jy-Rows).  When I got there, the dining facility was without gyros. I am talking major league disappointment here.  Have you have ever been really excited to enjoy a meat-filled Greek delicacy, only to have your excitement  dashed along the jagged rocks of Air Force dining facility deceit?  Let me tell you, it is not something I want to experience again.

Since I am so upset, I have decided to write about one thing that has been bugging me for a very long time now.  I am speaking, of course, of camel sounds.

Living in the Middle East, I have noticed there are a lot of camels.  I could even say that there are a "plethora" of camels here in the desert.

Note: I know, The Three amigos was indeed a great movie, it was so famous, it was infamous.  OH MY GOSH, THAT WAS FRICKIN' HILARIOUS

Note about note:  If it is not obvious by now, I am running out of stuff to with which to entertain you people.  I know that inserting jokes from movies no one ever saw or cared about in order to make my writing funnier is a shitty thing to do, and for that, I apologize.

Getting back to camels...The other day as I was driving into work I saw some camels crossing the road.  Before you all pee your pants from excitement, let me assure you that seeing wild, free-range camels crossing the road is not as exciting as you would think.

Prepare for a digression in:

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Did you ever notice (insert Seinfeld joke here) that when you drive past a pasture filled with cows, you are invariably forced, by some unseen entity, to make a cow sound as you drive by.  After years of research, I have learned that this entity, is actually many entities, and I have decided to call them collectively, the Cow Force Entity Squad, for they are many.

Note:  Biblical jokes never work.

Picture this, I am sitting there, driving my car, listening to ABBA (they rock the hardest) when I notice a herd of cattle off in the distance.  I try to fight the urge, but as I get closer to the herd, I realize that I am fighting a losing battle.

Me:  (Singing)  If you change your mind, I'm the first in line,

Me:  (Singing)  Honey I'm still free, take a chance on me...

Me:  (Singing)  If you need me, let me know, gonna be arou...MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Me:  MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

At this point, I will roll down the window to make sure the cows can hear me.  I don't want them to think I am stuck up.

Ok, so now you may want to know what the hell yelling at cows (in the cows own language) has to do with camels.  The reason is, when I see these camels, I am struck by the same inexplicable force as when I see cows.  The problem is, I have no idea what kind of sound a camel makes.  Every camel I have been close too normally just stands there and chews.  I cannot work with that.  Making a chewing sound as I drive by camels does no good.  I am not sure, but I don't think they can hear me.  I chew as loudly as I can but I usually just end up drooling all over myself.

Undaunted, I frantically searched for a noise to make and I decided to simply yell camel over and over again at a very high pitch.  It seems to quell the cow force entity squad for now, but I never know for how long.  I need help.  If you can inform me of another way to communicate with the camels as I am driving by at 65 mph, please let me know

 

 

 

UPDATE:

I have been sent this item of interest.  An alert reader known only as "Windy" sent me this small video.  This video depicts a camel actually making sounds.  The video was obtained from http://camelphotos.com and is used with permission.  http://camelphotos.com  has everything you ever wanted to know about camels but were afraid to ask (because camels will spit at you if they are pissed or if you ask them stupid questions).

 

Here it is

Enjoy! 

 

 

 

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