Man Types

What kind of man are you?  Some people will say that they are a "leg man", some will say "breast man", some weirdoes will even say they are a "feet man".  I even knew a goober that I used to work with that insisted that he was a "calf man" (I really hope he meant the lower leg).

When asked this question, I have to say, honestly, that I am a "vagina man."

I first learned that I was a "vagina man" when I about eight.  I absolutely loved the show The Dukes of Hazzard but I really did not know why.  I thought at the time it probably had to do with the cool car chase scenes, or maybe the fact that they always found a reason to have the General Lee jump over something.  I never put together the fact that there was a character named "Cooter" and a hot woman that wore shorts that were so short that you could actually see stuff.  I was always intrigued by the word "cooter", but at the time I had no idea why.  I did, however, see the benefits of "Daisy Duke shorts". 

Come on, don't groan.  When men say they are a "breast man", "leg man" etc, they are actually talking about the part they like the best.  When it comes down to it, I have to stick with "vagina man." (boobs are a very close 2nd)

Don't misunderstand me here.  I do not believe in treating women like objects, stay with me here.  I honestly think that the sum of all the women's parts is defiantly greater than the parts alone, but since we are talking about the specific parts, the part that I feel deserves the most recognition is the vagina.

You can argue that the reason there are "leg men" and "breast men" is due to the fact that those are the parts of a woman that society allows you to easily see.  I think this is bullshit.  The vagina is the best part.  I don't take kindly to society determining the things I can and cannot like.  If I did, I would have run out and bought about 30 copies of Nelly's first album after it was repeatedly aired on every popular radio station on the planet.  (This is probably where most of my anger comes from.)

I can no longer allow society to keep the vagina down.  I know I can make a difference.  Just think, 100 years ago, the fashion of the time was, to say the least, conservative.  Look how much things have changed.  If I start now, I can have the women of the world exposing their vaginas by the beginning of the 22 century.  I will be glorious.

Picture this, the year is 2104, women no longer feel the need to cover up their vaginas and the whole world is without war or suffering.  Women will decorate their vaginas with barrettes, bows, etc.  Old codgers will sit on the porch of the "Brooks Goodmeat Retirement Home" marveling at how, back in "ought-four" (2004), Brooks Goodmeat got the vagina ball rolling by stating, to the entire world, through his clever web site, that he was a "vagina man."

Hmmm, this whole "vagina man" idea seemed way better in my head.  Now that I have fleshed it out on computer, this whole article seems to be childish and gross. Let me know, if you think this sucks, email me here and I will take it down.