Poop

Ok, it was only a matter of time before I started writing about poop.  I know you can't blame me.  Poop is such a cool word to say.  Poop,  poop,  poop.  See how fun it is?  I have two children who also share this view.  Poop is something that is talked about with great zeal in our household.

Here is an example of such zeal:

My Daughter:  Knock Knock

Me:  Who's there?

My Daughter:   Cat Poop!

Me:  Cat Poop who?

My Daughter:  YOU EAT CAT POOP!!!!  HA HA HA HA HA HA!!

As you can see, Poop is important.

The main reason I am writing this expose on "poop" is because of an interesting bit of graffiti I noticed in the bathroom the other day.  This graffiti gave me a germ of an idea.  This idea, simplified, basically consisted of writing about the graffiti I saw.  I tell you, sometimes my head works in brilliant ways.

What I saw, was a list of euphemisms for defecation.  There was about 50 of them.  Most of the items on the list were rather lame, but one of them was brilliant.

Ok, here it is, this brilliant euphemism for defecation I saw written on the bathroom wall was:

"Blowing Mud!"

Pretty funny huh?  

Now, because of my weak sphincter (scientifically known as buttholicus-debilitarious), I can honestly tell you that I thought "blowing mud" was so funny that I "blew mud" into my pants.  My problem was that I happened to already be "blowing mud" into the toilet.   Normally, when I hear something hilarious, or when I get really scared, I celebrate by pooping in my pants.  This time I had no way of expressing my appreciation for this astute allegory, and for a split second, I really did not know what to do.  I felt scared and alone, and promptly pooped some more.

Minutes later, I was back at my work center.  I immediately discussed my findings with my co-workers.   All of them, women included, thought that "Blowing Mud" was indeed, hilarious.  Personally, my favorite defecation euphemism was always "Growing a Tail."  One of my co-workers informed me that his favorite defecation euphemism was "Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl."  I tell you, it was a good thing that I had just recently "taken the browns to the super bowl", or else I would have right then and there in my pants.  It was damn funny.